Don't Sit on My Head

And Other Rules From The Nanny Archives

I'm a nanny again. 

I only have to stare at a computer part-time now. The rest of my time during the day I get to play outside and eat snacks.

I nannied my way through college on my off-track so I wouldn't have to work during school. I wanted to be able to focus on my "studies". 

Let's be honest here, I was an Art Ed major...I had no studies. I went to school and drew stuff. It was awesome. I just didn't want to get a job when I was at school.

As a nanny/babysitter, I've worked with a variety of different families over the last 10+ years. I don't have any horror stories...or at least none that I remember. I'm sure I've suppressed the really horrible ones. I'll probably remember some after I post this-but we can save those for Story Time. I think mostly I have a ton of awkward incidents from working for new people.

Parents are funny creatures. 

For the most part, I've had great experiences being a nanny and I've learned a ton of nifty tricks to get kids to eat or stop hitting each other. 

With every family I've worked for, there's the basic set of rules to follow: wash your hands, no hitting, put your dishes in the sink, pick up your shoes etc

But every family I've worked for in the past develops a more personalized set of rules and it's fun for me to figure them out. 

And by "fun" I mean physically  painful and gross. 

Top 10 rules:

1. Don't sit on my head
2. No farting on people
3. Don't pee on the fence
4. Keep your fingers out of my ear
5. Keep your fingers out of your sisters nose
6. No flinging boogers
7. Don't put worms in your pocket
8. Don't staple your clothes together
9. Keep the Legos away from your ears
10. Don't lick your feet

I've had to repeat these phrases more than I probably should ever have to. But figuring out that they are necessary phrases is the "fun" part. 

All I know is that whenever I start having kids, mine will come out clean, polite and potty trained.

I can dream, can't I?