I'm Not Paranoid...Just Overly Aware

When I was little, I remember watching one of those "Who Done-it" shows where the host/narrator is super mysterious and dramatic. There was a story about some guy who set stuff on fire or something, but I remember going to bed super paranoid about fire.
I couldn't sleep, I just kept going over my emergency escape plan where I grab my blankie and some undies and crawl on all fours out the front door.
It was a great plan.
One of my best.
Thankfully I never had to employ this escape plan, but I've noticed how super aware I am of things that could happen.
Maybe my OCD has started to kick in more and more each year...because along with my normal bedtime routine, I have to check all the doors to make sure they're closed and locked. With the current burglaries around my neighborhood lately, I've been even more aware of this.
Speaking of which, a news reporter showed up on our street tonight to do a little report on all the break-ins.
I was driving over to my friends for dinner and I saw them on my way up the hill.
I checked the time.
5:57 PM
Six O'clock news would be on soon.
So of course I called my mom and told her to turn the news on to see the segment...and also to tell me if she could see me driving up the street.
Because I was.
I was driving back and forth on my street to get on the news!
I've become one of those annoying people that stand behind the news reporter doing a piece on world hunger or something, and I'm just in the background waving like a crazy person, mouthing "hi mom".
Oh boy.
I don't think I actually got on the news though. I think they had cut to some interviews with some of my neighbors both times I was in view of the camera.
It's for the best, I'm sure. They probably would've saw me on camera, wondered who that awesome woman in that car was, asked me to do an interview, been so informed, collected, smart and witty, that I'd become famous for being so awesome and I'd have to spend the rest of my life dodging the paparazzi that followed me everywhere.
I just don't have time for that right now.

Routine

I love routine.
And not just because I'm OCD.
I'm not talking switching lights on and off 12 times before you enter or exit a room.
I'm talking basic, daily routine.
Get up.
Go to the bathroom.
Eat breakfast.
Brush teeth.
And so on....

But its the night time routine that I love the best.
I love the settled feeling.
I'll brush my teeth and wash my face and lay down with a good book. Currently I'm reading three different ones. American Childhood by Annie Dillard.
Totally recommend it....I've read it twice since I was first introduced to it my junior year in high school.
Travels with Charley by John Steinbeck. Absolutely my all time favorite. It goes on the top of any favorite list.
I'm on my fourth read.
And a Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway. I've read it once...but I had to read it for some class in college and don't remember what it was about. I was in it just to finish the assignment and move on.
I wish I paid attention the first time because its beautiful. 

I used to think that once I read a book, I couldn't read it again...I always had to find a new book. Obviously I don't feel that way anymore. I love finding new books to read...but sometimes you just need something familiar.

Tonight I'm reading Dillard.

I'm Moving!

Let me tell you a little story that doesn't have any action, and really no plot, but is way exciting.
Spoiler Alert: It's going to end with me moving to the last place on earth I thought I'd end up.
One Sunday morning in November, I was sitting in Relief Society, listening to the announcements when one lady said that she was moving that week to Utah. She found a job and bought a house and was really excited. I was so happy for her, but sad that she'd be leaving. Then I had the thought that I needed to move to Utah.
"What the heck?" I thought. I was totally taken aback by those words that popped up in my head: move to Utah.
"This is probably because that lady just announced she was moving there. And I'm going there for Christmas and I'll see a few friends that live there. That must be the reason I feel this way."
Utah is the last place I wanted to move. And not because I don't like it. I think it's so pretty there...it's just because I've never before had a desire to stay longer than a vacation trip. And for the last year, I've had my sights on the D.C. area.
But the thought kept coming back...."move to Utah".
I had no idea why I kept thinking that. There's no reason for me to move there. So I dismissed it.
Slowly that thought crept back into my head, and it started to sound good....and over time, it started to feel good....like it's the right decision.
I'm a big believer in following my gut.
So, I'm moving to Utah.
End of July, early August.
No one is more surprised than I am right now.
I have no job yet, no reason other than I feel like it's what I need to do.
I'm not worried about finding a job. That will come, I'm sure of it. I'm looking for work in the Salt Lake and Provo areas (although as time keeps passing I feel drawn to Provo). However, I don't actually feel like I need to be moving to Utah for work. I know that teaching is what I'm meant to do, but I could teach anywhere. It's the weirdest feeling...not knowing why I'm so drawn there.
I'm a little astonished at how excited I'm becoming.
Sometimes I get a little giggly thinking about how there's some reason I need to move there....just waiting to see what's going to happen.
When I was nine, my parents took us to Disneyland. The night before we were going to leave my mom put us to bed but I came running out into the living room telling her that I couldn't sleep because I kept giggling. She said it was because I was so excited.

This move kinda feels like I'm about to go to Disneyland.